From the Cat Post Intelligencer:
In an unprecedented speech, Cheysuli has managed to offend all her presidential human rivals. Cheysuli’s speech attacks John McCain for being “an old white guy with bad hair and no memory.” The McCain camp planned to issue a comment on this, but they forgot.
Next the Presidential Candidate came under fire from the Clinton camp when she called Senator Hillary Clinton a Woman. “This is just appealing to the sexist nature of the race,” stated Senator Clinton.
Finally she came under fire from the Obama camp by calling the senator “A Male, much like the Human Male. Why would I trust him?” Obama supports state that “Obama is not, nor has he ever been in any way related to the Human Male. We resent the implications, Cheysuli.”
Closing her speech Cheysuli said, “I am tired of everyone else getting to play the human version of Thundering Herd of Elephants around the campaign trail. I just want to be a part. If you don’t like what I say, grow up and start talking about the issues. And if you want to bribe me, stop sending me those stupid tickets to Vegas, they keep kicking me out. Play with my feather toy!!! ”
edited note: we believe Senator Obama is offended by being compared to the Human Male *I* live with. I admit it was harsh, but I am honest.
And of course this is Feature Friday so that means that the most intriguing comment will be the Sunday Guest Star! And you know what? This week’s guest star leads off the CARNIVAL OF THE CATS!!! So get your posts submitted so we have a BIG one!
Icon Baxter Bentley says
haha! Thundering Herd of Elephants on the campaign trail! Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that FUN
Dr Tweety says
Umm, Ms Chey? IZ da Guevera guy evfur gonna turnip? If he izn’t, den I guess you needz to takes da bull by da hornz & justee get up on yer soapbox & nevfur say nevfur, justee say “No.”. Da time haz come….Well,acshullee I sure hope it hazn’t passed us by.
I yam tryin’ to write you some good cam-pain speechez but dey justee keep comin’ out wit a bunchee of tingz dat haz alreddy been said. Ptooey.A hairball on da klish-shadez.
Karen Jo says
I would love to read that speech in full. I’m still laughing at Mrs. Clinton’s reaction and Mr. Obama’s. If he isn’t a Human Male, what is he? I also wish they would get back to talking about the issues and stop bashing each other about stuff that has little or nothing to do with whether or not they would make a good President.
Skeeter, LC, and Ayla says
With all the scandals going around, and with so many Beins havin to fire staff that say contervershul things, we cant belief that no major newspaper has pointed out that Sen Obama is… well he’s… we mean… he’s a GUY! A male Bein GUY!
That means (from what we see on TV sitcom shows), that he’s stupid, clueless and gets laughed at A LOT.
Much better to have a cat in charge (CIC).
Go for it Chey! 🙂 With cats in charge of the world my human for one would be able to afford a bigger house for us all! 😉
I’d try to be whitty and funny but Chey, today you just make me laugh and laugh!!! Thanks for putting a smile on my face :).
Diamond Emerald-Eyes says
Yet if one of them said you were Thundering around on the political trail like a Herd of Elehants you would take offense because you would be certain they were taking a crack at your weight and calling you fat. I don’t know Chey, DO YOU look fat in those points?
The Meezers says
thundering herd of elefants? YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now THAT would make a great campaign – the winner gets to be president. and since you already know all the rules, you would win in a heartbeat. Not to mention the fact that you are smaller and faster than any of the. especially McCain, who’s really too old and fat to do much more than waddle.
Dragonheart & Merlin says
That’s a lovely photo of you, Chey! We are puzzled as to why Clinton objected to being called a woman. She is one, after all!
Chey, that is a sweet picture of you!!! I love it!!
This comment â€œan old white guy with bad hair and no memory.â€
Made us laugh!!!!
You really are the one to be President 🙂
We totally support you!
Hellllooo Miss Gemini and Happy Easter to efurryone!
“…Cheysuliâ€™s speech attacks John McCain for being â€œan old white guy with bad hair and no memory.â€ The McCain camp planned to issue a comment on this, but they forgot.”
Gandalf & Grayson says
Mom won’t let us watch any more political speaches. She says she doesn’t want our delicate ears assaulted like that anymore. We only watch Everybody Loves Raymond with our Grampy now. “Marie, get me a sandwich” for us translates to “Mom, fetch us some Temptations”. It’s all about us again! Life is good.
I guess the truth really does hurt those politicians!
HRH Yao-Lin says
Oh dearest Chey, those silly humans just don’t get you , do they? You are witty – sarcastic, insulting and witty!! I admit, the Obama/human male comparison was particularly catty – at least, if your human male is as stupid as mine. Still, everything you said was brilliant and those stupid humans should put up or shut up.
Chey, you calls ’em like you sees ’em!
We support you Chey! How dare those beans get offended when week after week they have not even ack-noledged your candidacy. I even watched the debates just to see you and it turns out you weren’t invited. You have been so shunned by these beans, that even Saturday Night Live has yet to do a skit on you.
Shame on them.
Snow and Forest says
The attacks may sound a bit harsh but they are all justified Chey! Other candidates oughta learn to accept them!
Purrs from the SnowForest family 🙂
Queen Snickers says
Hmmm, If Hillary does not want to be referred to as a Woman what are we supposed to call her? Non-Male? Earthling? Perhaps she (if that is indeed correct, as I have never smelled her personally) should clarify the correct term so no one is offended in the future.
Those were all true statements so they should not be offended. They are just jealous that you are of a superior species and they can never really catch up!
I like this picture of you.
I hope you have a very happy Easter
DaisyMae Maus says
Chey … You ARE the best candidate for the job. I don’t know why the three humans runnin’ against you don’t just save some money an’ cede the presidency to you outright. It would make so much more sense.
Registered voter: Feline Party,
Artsy Catsy says
Chey, I’m working hard for you here in Indiana! I’ve just posted pictures on my blog of my urgent summit yesterday with Hillary Clinton to convince her that you’re the only candidate who is ready from day one to run this country! I also opened your local campaign headquarters.
Team Tabby says
We like your picture, Chey. You are certainly the best candidate by far.
Mindy & Moe
Eric and Flynn says
If Clinton objects to being called a woman, that makes her a non woman. If Obama objects to being called a male, that makes him a non male. That must make them both non runners. Congrats Chey, you know who you are, a real winner!
I posted on my site yesterday about which of the candidates would be the strongest on cat issues. But you are by far the strongest of the bunch and I support your campaign, Chey!
Beau Beau & Angie says
Hheeee heeheh. We finks you’ve captured who they are quite nicely. If you’ve offended them, then that means you’ve found out their weak points. Great job.
You are an equal opportunity offender here Chey. Make ’em all mad.
Faz the Cat says
Does acupuncture work on cats too? FAZ
Forty Paws says
Totally valid observations Chey. We totally back you up. We proudly wear our Chey for President buttons!
Wish you and your family a Hoppy Easter, hope you are having a fun day.