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Feature Friday

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img_1965a.JPGBreaking News:

“Reporter Sam Smith, who broke the story about Cheysuli’s connection to organized crime. He reports a whapping and then remembers nothing…”

__________________________

Dear me, this is awful to hear about. I have just learned that the authorities are looking for Daisy the Curly Cat. You know they monitor my blog (and my phone and everything else). Last week she said:

I think I know the culprits. But I will never tell! Because I am not a Stool Pigeon.

I hope they don’t torture her! I would hate to think that she is being waterboarded or some horrible thing!

Who do you think did it?

  • Hendrix and Bendrix
    • Hendrix: nom nom nom What ham??? *munch*Bendrix: nom nom nom What AP reporter? *munch*
  • Miles Meezer
    • ::BUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP::excuse me.
  • Sammy Meezer
    • :WHAP::: :::WHAP:::: :::WHAP:::um, nope, I don’t know no ham-steal, whapping meezer or meezers who may or may not haf similar furs to Chey, and may or may not haf a wet head. doesn’t sound familiar at all.::I SAID STAY DOWN YOU STOOPID REPORTER WHAP WHAP WHAP:: ::CHEY HAS NO TIES TO THE MOB WHAP WHAP WHAP::I don’t think he’ll be messing wif you again Chey. IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S GOOD FOR HIM.

      I mean, I hope he retracts his story.

  • Opus and Roscoe (aka Don Gattone and Lefty Litterpaw)
    • Thanks for coming to our movie night. Don’t worry, we will won’t show your photo, but if there is ever anything you need, just let THE DON know.
  • Pooses for Peace (led by Zevo Calamari)
    • Since Homeland Security is monitoring my emails it is hard for me to say much.. except
      Enjoy the ham………

To save Daisy from torture, we must get to the bottom of the mystery! Who did it? The cat/human with the most creative comment and the cat they say did it will be my Sunday Guest Stars.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Detective Skeeter here: As I unnerstan it, the facts of the sitchuation are that:

    1. Reporter Sam Smith, broke the story of Chey connection to the Mob, got whapped.
    2. Daisy The Curly Cat knows the culprits.
    3. Hendrix and Bendrix are eatin a lot of ham lately.
    4. Miles an Sammy Meezer are burpin an whappin…
    5. Opus an Roscoe are suggestin a Mob protection.
    6. Pooses for Peace suggestin a ham payoff…

    I am on the case an have some leads. The above-menshuned kitties are bein investigated, but I suspeck the true mastermind lies elsewhere. Not to specify without evidense, but I’ll jus say that there are OTHER presidentshul candidates who could gain by casting doubt on Cheysuli’s “electability”.

    And I warn Chey that, while I support her candidacy, she isn’t entirely off my list of possible suspects… I go where the fakts leads. Jus my job, Maam…

    I’ll be goin off inta the shadows, peerin through curtains, and collectin information. I have a hunch, but I wont ignore all the other possibilities efer. I may even have to deal with some alley rats an junk yard dogs. But I’ll find the under-cats. An when I get them to mew, I’ll find the orderer of the “Whap”…

  2. That’s a pretty good list of suspects. Since the reporter doesn’t remember anything, he must have gotten whapped pretty good in the head. Now which one of these kitties is a head-whapper?

  4. Reporting that I have contacted all the known witnesses but one. While I tracked down the “Pooses for Peace” group, I cannot pentrate their website to leave a demand for information. That raisines red flags to me and I will remain concerned about their involvement until I find information regarding their possible involvement i the Sam Smith “whapping”.

    More tommorrow, hoping some involved parties ofer useful information…

  5. Detective Skeeter:

    Zippy, Sadie, and Speedy: I have to ask just HOW you knew Sam Smith the Reporter was “bunny-kicked” in the head and not “whapped” in some other way. Is there something you want to discuss about this crime? I will provide confidentiality at [skeeter and lc -2118 at comcast dot net] .

    Any information about this crime could have consequences at the highesat levels of national politics, so please let me know anything you think might concern this serius matter!

    Thank you.

  7. This is very puzzling, Chey. I have my own theory regarding this supposed “crime.” I think some other presidential candidate has paid this “Sam Smith” reporter to fabricate the entire story. You know how dirty politics can be, and how mud gets slung back and forth. Well, since you are above mud-slinging, Chey, I think some other candidate(s) are trying to make you look bad.

    Has the reporter been subjected to a lie-detector test? Perhaps more would be revealed if he would submit to one, or perhaps consent to being hypnotized to find out more about this incident.

  8. …hamster I left you around back.

    *the conversation ends and she walks around the back of the building. A small hamster is doing the hamster dance on trashcan.

  9. I have concluded my investigation (pending any new information of course).

    In the course of the investigations, certain suspicious patterns became obvious. These lead to some logical (but not proven) assertations. Various individuals have come forth with “certain useful information”.

    On the basis of priveledged information, I comclude the following:

    1. Sammy and Miles Meezer may be whappin and eatin ham. But those are not directly involved in the case at paw. Their whappin and ham snarfin may involve some questionable events, but not the whappin of Sam Snith the Reporter.

    2. Daisy the Curly Cat does indeed have some useful information regarding this matter, but she indeed, “will not tell”. She does seem to be involved in the event in question, however.

    3. Opus and Roscoe seem uninvolved by direct evidence. Still, their mob connections seem to suggest that their involvement is at least peripheral (as by sticking out a paw so as to trip a running kitty). My estimation is that they know the kitties who know the kitties who were involved in the Sam The Reporter “whapping”. Possibly one further “they know” removed. They know who done it, but their pawprints aren’t on the “Whap”…

    4. Pooses for Peace were hard to identify. They atually seem to be a loose-pawed group with eco-political goals. While not firmly identified as individuals, the group doesn’t seem to have the desire to “whap” a reporter investigating you.

    5. I investigated the websites, political connections, and motivations of all known political opponents.

    6. I conclude that Sam Smith the Reporter was whapped by one or more agents of another political campaign possibly assisted by Daisy The Curly Cat and/or Mr Hendrix (and/or his brother Bendrix) with the intent of blaming the Chesuli/Derby campaign for the “event”.

    I advise you that this sort of thing, if widely publicized, might not help your campaign efforts. As many voters might doubt your fatual non-involvement as believe you are innocent (as you are), so the gain will be nothing.

    If however, you make a MAJOR deal out of this, it could serve to establish you in certain voter groups and seperate you from “the pack” breaking you out of the middle polling tier and propelling you to the front on various issues and personal reputation.

    Thatsa decision for you and your strategists… I can only really advise you of my findings specified above…

    Yours,
    Detective Skeeter

  10. I’z wouldn’t be surprised if you’z find that the reporter did it to himself, they’z always looking for a new story! 😉

  12. ok, regarding the “commenter” above- who is clearly a SPAM commenter as his link leads to an advertisement and he clearly has a fear and hatred of Meezers:

    If ever there was a guilty party, we say it’s Ventrilo. And I can whap him if you want. Just say the werd.

    Sammy

    ::BUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPP:: excuse me.
    Miles

  13. I think I’ll just keep lying low. I’m amazed I haven’t been harassed yet but Kaze did say there was a message on the machine asking after me and asking something garbled before there was a whapping noise and some munching that sounded like ham. I told her to delete the message but I think it might still be on our machine!!!

  15. I don’t know who did the actual deed but I’m guess the orchestrator was none other than Daisy the Curly Cat! Why you ask? because she’s the Femme Fatal of the story! Have you seen the way she’s been dressing lately? Definitely a femme fatal! Even better who would suspect such a cute face could devise such a plan as wapping a reporter?

  16. psssst…. over here. It’s me, Daisy. Shhhhh, be very quiet, they might hear us. I think my house is being watched! And I found a bug in my phone! A big brown bug! I am in hiding because I do not want to be taken to jail and tortured. But do not worry, I will never talk.

  17. Hey thanks for stopping by today, yes it is an exciting time getting CCSI ready to air. Are you interested in being in one of the stories? Also, looking for writers to write short stories. Keep this in mind and get back to me.

  18. I know nothing of whappings or ham . . . or reporters with memories missing . . . or an underground kitty plot to promote Chey into power. Much less any plans being made to break a certain curly cat out of prison . . .

  19. Gemini all this talk of torture and ham and whapping are you OK? I will be right over to protect you if you needs me….

    Purrs
    Pee Sss
    YOUR picture was beautiful from yesterday…Momma said she actully had work to do yesterday and we didn’t get to visit much …. poo poo poo on working for a living.

  20. me and Bendrix don’t know nuthin about no reporter getting whapped. well, nuthin except that AP reporters taste like chicken. heh heh heh

  21. Oh come on guys!! It’s so obivious!
    The Butler did it! It’s always the butler 🙂

    And no, I don’t mean Karl’s butler (Cat Realm)
    Just……. The Butler

  22. Chey,

    Doez you re-member (memberz??? Izn’t dat what waz found in da firstee place??) da pig dat hung ovfur da shop in New Joizee??? Well, I tink you need to go full cir-cull right back to dda dread-dead Soparanoze. It iz quite obvy-us dat da pig iz da whapper. I tink dey call dis smokin’ out da bacon!

    -Dr Tweety

  23. I’m just plain confoosed but I fink if yoo can find a meezer who had an unexplained wet head, yer on the right trail. Now excuse me while I whap my bruvver and have some more ham.

  25. oh dear Daisy, don’t werry, we know you will nefur talk, and we would nefur efur let you or any cat get tortured. Miles will distract them with some ham and I will whap them. err, I mean Miles will holler at them and I will whap them. wait, that’s not right either. Miles will holler at them and I will………. um……….. break you out of jail.

    Sammy

  26. I read the reports here and Detective Skeeter’s findings and I cannot find any PROOF Sam Smith is actually whapped. Zippy, Speedy and Speedy are doing a wild guess that he was bunny-kicked in the head, IF he was whapped at all! Dragonheart makes a good point and asks the same as I do, is this not just a made-up story to make Chey look bad. Or… if Sam Smith has been treated in a hospital for his head wound, where is the proof he was wounded because he was whapped? Maybe he was drunk and fell or walked with his head to a wall, maybe he parked his car against a tree or something. Where’s the evidence he was whapped?

  28. We have left the county.. you are all welcome to come stay with us….you can find us in the land of mountains, great cheese and chocolate and watches…
    please bring nip
    we will supply the rest.
    the von trapp pooses

  30. I’m getting Anderson Cooper on to this case asap! (well the pet human has a crush on him)

    Good try, Skeeter. Trying to sling mud at my campaign. It won’t work. I am the only campaigner without a scandal attached to her name.

    Chey’s campaign is beginning to smell like Watergate. Point fingers, lay blame, deny.

    Follow the money, Skeeter. Follow the money.

    Luv,
    Skittles, The Huntress

  32. Please, no name calling on this blog. One comment has been deleted because of the hurtful nature of the comment. Another borders on it. If I get complaints about anything I WILL delete them.

    I have stepped in here as the admin because this is not about Cheysuli. This is about polite commentary on a blog. Thank you.

  33. Chey – I can only offer a final (though inconclusive) report… I have received “information” from a number of (un-named) parties. And (partly due to finding a mouse-head on my doorstep this morning) will not be pursuing the matter further (officially, anyways – I’ll always keep my ears open for stray facts oferheard in cheap nip-dives)…

    The actual “whapper” seems to be an underling of a more secretive mastermind. It seems to be pawlitically oriented. My instincts point me toward another presidential candidate, and I continue to suspect the party I mentioned earlier, being your most obvious competition.

    But it is entirely possible that the actual operation was planned and carried out by oferzelous mid-level campaign workers. It wouldnt be the first time that has happened wif no knowlige of the folks at the top, ya know?

    I can say that the “whapper” is indepentantly identifyed with “ham-breath”, is a large kitty (an there may have been 2), an that some witnesses haf been threatened with loss of treats an some worried about bein pounced in the dark.

    I saw Sam The Reporter’s whap-wound mysef, so I can verify it happened. It looked like it would be hard to self-inflict.

    Ham may be involved, but if you want to pursuu the matter more, I say, “follow the Nip”!

    My concludin suggeshun: Scratch it off as a political campaign trick, keep yer ears open, an take the High Road (ignorin it further for now).

    Me? I’m gonna take a “vacation” from my regular places an check careflee aroun my litterbox for mousestraps and such…

    Be careful…

    Detective Skeeter

  34. Zed Monster here. As head of our PoohBox Clan, and experience with Bad Cats, I dare say something stinks. It could be someone is being paid off in Temptations and the Daisy Connection, well, she does seem to have a plentiful supply. Even proof on her blog. You can’t dispute hard cold facts. Of course, the kitty who remains extremely elusive, who has close ties to Daisy, would be Mz. Pixie.

    It is advisable to clear all Paw Tracks and Evidence. Our opinion also stands that Hendrix and Bendrix, Miles and Sammy Meezer… (any connection there?) and Roscoe and Opus and the Pooses for Peace have all been sent a dupe Ham to confuse the trail and leave it cold.

    When looking for the culprit, it seems only natural to locate the Brains behind the Operation. Mz. Pixie has not chimed in lately, possibly sitting back allowing Daisy to learn the ropes of the Florida based business.

    Of course, we PoohClan Members will protect Daisy and Mz. Pixie, so the trail grows cold. I, Zed Monster, believe we should find the connection with Pixie. She does have a boyfriend who could be involved as well.

    We shall silently watch this mystery unfold. Our opinions do not reflect any dislike for our Friends. It is rather odd… maybe someone has information on Daisy and she has been blackmailed?

    Purrs for a scandal free week!

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