Presidential Debate

Welcome cats. Welcome friends. Welcome everyone. I am Cheysuli and I’d like to thank Skeezix for hosting the debates. I, of course have been planning a run since the 2006 elections. I have been disappointed with the way our country is currently being run. I decided that only a cat could help. I have the great honor to be running with Derby the Sassy Cat as a running mate and partner.

Derby brings practical advice to my sometimes lofty Siamese ideals. However, I do stand for the Meezer class of all varieties of cats. When I say this, I mean that all cats have a need for the finest food, comfortable beds and a devoted human. I am promoted by the wonderful party of Felines for Total World Domination. My fans are legion. I am happy to have my own presidential campaign website.

Among other things, I am for naps and against war. I am for complete and total healthcare coverage for all creatures small or great. I believe that love finds us in many different shapes and sizes and should be judged by the hearts of the two involved and no one else. I think each creature has the right to reproduce or not. Until we walk in another’s shoes, we have no right to make those choices for them.

I do believe that the US Constitution was created by the people and for the people. As a government official, I am willing to put aside my lofty position ABOVE the people as the Right Paw of Bast and SERVE the people as a leader. Yes, I am willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and be of SERVICE to all humankind by leading them. I can offer no greater compassion than this.

So on to the questions:

1. What would you do to ensure the safety of our food supply?

Food safety is of great concern to me because I love to eat. I think if a manufacturer can get the product locally, I believe that local products are best. Local, organic products are even better. I would offer incentives to companies to purchase local, organic products for their prepared foods.

As more and more farms go organic, I would offer tax breaks to those farmers working on this process to encourage more of them to become organic.

I would require local testing of any products that were imported. Heavy fines for any company that is found in violation. I would require all cat food manufacturers to have regular independent audits of their foods.

Should there be alternative temperature-taking methods instead of up your booty?

At my vet they stick something in my ear. I find it annoying but it’s much less invasive and undignified than in the booty. I am definitely for this. This goes back to making sure all qualified individuals have access to good quality higher education. Part of veterinary school would be that vets must learn these less invasive methods of temperature taking.

Whut’s yer pozishun on the vishus deer menniss, and whut do yoo plan to do abowt it?

I think every cat should have some of Rocky and Tripper’s Vishus Deer Repellent. For those cats who can’t afford it, I think the government should help out.

Further, I think those humans who are so inclined should be able to freely take care of the menniss in the manner they see fit. The license costs for this would then be plugged back into my program for Vishus Deer Repellent to Needy Cats.

Cats, we have always had a vishus deer menniss. As time has gone on and more and more cats are finding themselves in the world of the vishus deer, there are more and more cat-deer encounters. I can’t help that. The deer have a right to exist. However, I hope that my efforts in the repellent and also educational promotion so that all cats understand the meniss of the vishus deer will keep accidents to a minimum.

Thank you cats for your attention to these great details within the campaign. I am certain that my opponents have well thought out answers to their questions as well. They may even have better typists. However, I do bring my experience as the Right Paw of Bast to bear on my potential as a presidential candidate.

When you vote at Skeezix’s blog, I know you will vote for me.