from the AP
Cheysuli, Siamese Presidential Candidate in the Feline’s for Total World Domination Party, said today that she was ashamed of Seattle for hiring goats to eat their weeds. Campaign constituents were shocked at the statement as she has always run on a platform of environmental awareness. Seattle’s decision to hire the goats was based in part on a study that found goats to be both cheaper to hire and more environmnetally sound than using pesticides to remove weeds in public areas.
“I’m not opposed to Seattle hiring goats,” Candidate Cheysuli stated earlier today, “I’m opposed to Seattle hiring goats for less than they pay a human. This just isn’t right. They’re basically keeping goats in servitude.”
Seattle officials objected to the characterization, saying that while the goats were working, they were eating and would not have to buy food.
“Think of the kids!” Ms Meezer exclaimed! “We have child labor laws. You don’t expect the kids to be out there working as well do you? You can’t. So who is going to buy the food for the kids? You can’t also expect both goat parents to work at once, otherwise you’d have to figure in day care as well. Do you know how much day care costs for a goat kid?! It’s astronomical.
“Goats are really getting squeezed on both ends. We expect them to work for less than a human and then we overcharge them for the same basic services that humans take for granted.”
Seattle officials deny any such problems. “The goats will do exactly what goats love to do. We won’t be enslaving them.”
“Anytime you have someone who is forced to work for less than another, simply based on species is simply wrong. I’m about the environment but I’m also about equal pay for equal work. Those goats won’t even be getting healthcare! I’m ashamed of Seattle!” Cheysuli stated when pressed.
After such an outburst there’s been public support for the goats getting equal pay for their job chewing weeds. Some people have been saying that as it’s been proven that goats are more efficient than humans that they should actually get paid more. This is unlikely to fly with the City of Seattle but Cheysuli sees even equal pay as a good start.