I’ve hacked into Chey’s account as a way to try and get her listen to me. She isn’t a big listener.
Dear Chey,
This is your human female talking. I know that you are resisting this idea of a diet. I know that you think that because Miles and Sammy are rather stocky fellows that all meezers have that right. However, Miles and Sammy are Appleheaded meezers and their body type is different. They are supposed to be bigger. They have bigger bones. However, I think even Miles is on a diet. Or maybe it’s Sammy. Really it doesn’t matter because you are not Miles and Sammy.
You, my dear, are a wedge head Siamese. You have a light boned body. According to breed standards you should look tubular (like totally). Anyway, you have stopped looking tubular and now look like that thing they were throwing around at the superbowl. In fact, you know what? That’s a pigskin. I know how much you resent the human male for calling you a pig, but really Chey. You look like a football.
Do you really want to snuggle with Latte and take the chance that you roll over on him and kill him? I mean what would I tell his human? She adores her cat.
Cheysuli, I am telling you this for your own good. You are banned from meals until the other cats have eaten their fill and then you get HALF of what’s left over. There will still be plenty. I know I’ll hear about it. But it’s for your own health and well being and if you don’t care about that, then think of Latte, will you?
Bonnie, your human female.
oh no Chey! a diet! If it makes you feel any better, Pooh’s been on a diet for a year or so. He is much more svelte now.
Diets stink, Cheysuli. No matter what your human pet says, don’t listen to her. Resist as long as you can! Viva la fatness!
Oh no! Don’t worry Chey, I’ll love you no matter what you look like! Kaze was footballish back in December and Meowmy put her on a strict exercise routine and she lost her round belly rather quickly. I am small though….I only weigh 8 lbs.
P.S. Meowmy is laughing and laughing!
Mom thinks I look like a football, too. So footballs must be good things.
we duzzn’t no whut a foot ball is but we herd that America loves football an so America will love you an izzn’t that whut yur goin’ for in yur cam-pain anyway?
Cocoa
Ut oh. It sounds like she means it. Really tho you’ll prolly lose all the weight you need to in a couple of weeks. It comes off fast when you are a cat. It’s hyoomans dat haf such a hard time getting rid of dare fat.
Of course no one asked me if I thought I was too fat! I’m not you know. I think the woman is projecting…
Chey, you must be fit and trim for your run for President. Otherwise they may call you Bubbette.
Hi, pretty Chey! Before it goes up on the Cat Blogosphere, we’re out inviting everybody over to ArtsyCatsy for the special benefit we’re having for Mu Shue and his Mama Laura. We hope you you’ll come by!
The ArtsyCatsy catstaff
Chey, you & I have to stick together on this issue … we *need food, no matter what we’re supposed to look like! Personally, I think of myself as slim and slender, but Mom huffs and puffs when she picks me up! She doesn’t understand that she simply has no muscles!
Diets bite.
The People wants us all to get in shape but ya know what? FOOTBALL IS A SHAPE!!! So there.
We Want Our Stinky Goodness!!!!
Oh, sadness. The dreaded diet. Don’t worry, Cheysuli, you will come through it and feel all the better for your ordeal.
Will do Chey thanks for the information.
PS poop on your ‘beans pillow for the diet suggestion