I have to admit that over the last 24 hours I have been defending our right to potentially vote to all my human feline voting rights supporters. Russ Feingold called early Friday morning, waking me from a beauty sleep but you know, he’s on a different time table than I am. He said his aids were urging him to withdraw his support from feline voting rights after an incident of feline voting online. I had read Zeus’ blog and unfortunately I knew what he was talking about. I sighed. It was going to be a very long day.
I ended up speaking to most of my supporters and had an interview on the Ed Schultz show. Ed took me a part! I love Ed, but he doesn’t go for this. I pointed out that we were allowed to stuff the ballot box. As Ed said in his interview, why were cats claiming that other cats were changing votes already registered. Isn’t this just the sort of thing we’re fighting against when it comes to fair and transparent elections?
I replied that I had no idea what exactly transpired but I have aids looking into this (although Gemini fell asleep three minutes into her search). I said that this was a horrible thing. If ballot stuffing was going to be allowed (and it was) then votes should not have been changed as there would always be more ballots. If time was of the essence then they should learn from the experience and start stuffing sooner.
“Chey, I’ve heard a lot of nasty accusations about this voting thing. People were claiming it was just a big popularity contest. What do you make of that?”
“Well Ed,” I replied, “It’s a beauty pageant. OF COURSE it’s a popularity contest!”
Ed continued to press as only Ed can. “But Chey, doesn’t this set back your campaign to get feline voting rights before 2008?”
I had to reply that it did.
“And what exactly does that mean for your campaign?”
I sighed. “It means that humans must realize that all their silly machinations mean that many cats have been influenced are probably no more suited to governing than the humans themselves. It does not mean that I am not suited to leadership. I will just have to work harder on my human supporters.”
“Yes, but don’t you have to be registered to vote to be able to run for office?”
“Ah…you know I have a bunch of damage control to do right now Ed. Gotta go Buddy!”
And so I fled to the room grabbing telephones and talked. And talked. And talked.
I convinced my congressional supporters that this was not a political election but a beauty pageant and they all understood how cut throat those are. I convinced them that ballot stuffing was allowed! I convinced them with the proper voting instructions as set up by the US government, cats could exercise good judgement. Now, my supporters just need to convince the rest of Congress
Of course the day wasn’t over yet. I was relaxing on my humans legs as she watched Real Time with Bill Maher. New Rules Came On… There it was the front page of Zeus Excuse. I knew we were in trouble.
“New Rule. No feline ballot stuffing. We realize that this was allowed in Mr. Litterbox, but it’s not allowed in the Presidential election. One cat one vote. And they better be for Cheysuli.”
Thanks Bill… I think.
I’m just here to give you a hug!
You’re one smart cat, Chey. I’m following your campaign with interest. Did you know that Cato is also running for President? http://www.creaturesoftheearth.com/
It’s going to be a hard choice.
You always stand up during the hard times and that is one of the reasons I love you!
Chey, a well thought out interview. Ed is a snake and you demolished him. The more cats in this campaign the better! Are we should human beings should vote? As for Mr. Litterbox. What was the point? Who really uses a litterbox? Cato
Chey,
Thanks for the hug.
We are voting on this ballot stuffing problem soon when the Poose Congress is back in session. I think it is humans that have the problem cheating.
Meanwhile, it sounds as if you had a rough week. Take the weekend off and relax. You have a wedding to plan!
Jon Stewart would like to have you on his show later next week. Pooses for Peace have issued a formal statement with our endorsement for you to be the next President. I will have my agent try to book you on Letterman soon. Call me if you need to borrow something decent to wear. I have a closet filled with Versace.
Have a great weekend,
ciao
zevo
Well put, Chey! And here is a special hug for you too.
If you need help with the wedding, just let us know.
Yo, Chey,
I just gotta tell you, I got married last year to a couple of humans. Best thing I ever did in my life. If you need a virtual best cat, I’m available.
Sincerely,
Darcy Xenophon
Everyone’s been sending hugs around and we’re doing the same! Hugs to everyone in your house!
~J&B
{{{{HUG}}}} to yoo, Chey!
When yer “aids” figure owt what happened I hope thay fix it so no one else gets upset (I don’t think most of us understand the issue…nor do we need to know). Anyways, we’re doing owr part to contact congress (rosie is calling and I’m emailing).
CHEY IN ’08!!
When mommy lifed in Philadelphia, dead people voted. So did people not registered. People would come to her door and ask if she wanted to send in an absentee ballot – 6 monfs ‘afore the ‘lekshun!! On ‘lekshun day, “elekshuneering” was allowed right up to the door, and people voted in the basements of ofurr peoples houses, then wented upstairs for donuts and coffee, and the screaming from the opposing parties. She saided that it was the greatest fun she efurr had in a presidential ‘lekshun. So, efenn humans stuff the ballot box.
and {{{{HUGS}}}} to you too!!!!
Its possible my research was a bit flawed, as I concluded everyone had fun. Clearly, that turned out not to be the case. But research is only as good as the data used in it, and clearly I had a problem with quality control. I’ll have to make sure not to let that happen in my dissertation research.
Like all political scandals, this one will blow over in a week or so, and the paparazzi will be off to the latest scandal de jour.
Tara
Well you do have our vote and the fluffies want to know if bunny votes count for you as well?
Hi Chey. I have to admit that I don’t really stop by your blog much because we are often very restricted in our blogging time over here. But I do really enjoy your blog when I do come by, and you always make us smile with your wit and wisdom! We vow to come by more often now. Hugs and purrs to all of you in your family!! ~Mattingly and Harlie
If I get through the bunny voting bill, they certainly will. Certainly that’s the biggest hurdle. We’ll keep you posted Sophia.
Anyway, thank you all for the hugs and thoughts.
I think everything will be fine if we use the one cat, one vote rule.
Hmmm, yes, this does harken back to the issue of a voter ID to prevent fraud at the polls. We at The Crew needn’t worry about that since we each wear our ID proudly right on our collars! No one can question who we are.
George
Best post yet, Chey! 😉
I’m sorry that the scandal influenced your campaign. I had no idea it would, but hopefully, with the help of your aides, you too can overcome this. As far as I can see it, if we don’t have a problem listening to the sexual inclinations and dope attempts of one president and the misarticulations and mishaps of another, why would we have a problem with you?
You are brilliant! There is no other being (not human, nor beast) who is better qualified to figure all of this out.
BRAVA, Chey! CHEYSULI in 2008!
Kukka Maria, coming from you that is a compliment!
HUGZ
you should do a google search on Jane Balogh… she actually registered her dog, or tried to, to vote in the November 2006 election in Washington state. LOL..well not so funny, she was charged with a misdemeanor.
cats would make great politicians